Ramblings of an Idiosyncratic Homosexual

Archive for February, 2012

Why I Hate Communism

So I learnt the most horrifying, deal breaking secret about my husband recently. He believes that certain ideas that stem from communists states work. That’s right.

My husband is a communist. A regular Stalin. A modem day Ho Chi Minh.

Now the problem that I have with us that I entertain the idea that one day I might own my own restaurant. If my husband is a communist though, I would be unable to own my own company. The moral right for people to own private property is central to the idea of freedom. Take away our ability to own anything and there goes our god damn free will.

Not only would here be no private property, there would be heavy income tax and the government would own EVERYTHING! Including me!! And our churches, and our families!

Communism did bring relief to the majority like promised. Nor did it remove oppression as purposed. It was an experiment that was concocted by some crazy dictating bastard that only removed morality from the world. Wankers..

Chadlington xx

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Why I want to be a Superstar!

So I don’t think it’s a big secret that I like to sing. And I’m going to put it out there… I think I’m pretty damn good. Apart from my darling husband (wanker) and an unintelligent, fat, mean dish pig, I think others generally think I’m pretty good too.

I know thousands and thousands of people dream of being famous, getting rich, and seeing their names in lights. Just look at how many people try out for all the reality tv shows like idol and x-factor. Most of them can’t actually sing, which makes good television, but others are really good.

The top 4 reasons why people want to sing for a living is because they want to be:
1) famous
2) rich
3) inspiring
4) even more famous

I know there are some disadvantages of being famous, like the paparazzi and their obsession with invading your personal space. And body guards. I’m pretty sure Britney can’t take a dump without her 8 body guards in the room with her. And your kids get royally fucked up too, and that normally because famous people tend to give them fucked up names like blue ivy and apple, or blanket. What’s wrong with the name John, or Harry or Sally?

But I think being famous would be totally worth it. Now I’m not interested in being rich, I couldn’t care less. But I have this thing that is apparently a bad thing. I have a need to please people. I’m a people pleaser. It pleases me to make other people happy. So I think that I want to be famous because I want to make music that makes other people happy. I want to be inspiration for some gay kid like Britney is for me. Or Beyonce is for millions and millions of people. I wanna see my name in lights. I wanna sell out fucking Madison Square Gardens.

I think it’s all about believe in yourself. I think you need to have the conviction in your head that you fucking amazing and you will be. You see it all the time. Some chick on idol who is really shy and not confident gets sent home because her voice is nice, but she’s boring. Then some rocker guy who can’t sing comes out and blows everyone away with his confidence and stage presence.

So I’m going to be a singer. I’m going to try really hard at least. I mean why not. If somebody enjoys something then I would like to think that I would encourage them to do it. What’s stoping you?!

And I promise not to call my kid milk carton or anything stupid like that…

Coffee Extortion

Ok, so we just dropped Renee off at the airport and while we were waiting we decided we should have a coffee. I find that it is one of those things that people do when there isn’t anything else to do. Like when you catch up with a friend you haven’t seen for a long time, so long in fact that you don’t know anything about one another. You don’t actually like each other anymore, but everyone likes coffee.

Unfortunately, coffee prices are ridiculous. I just paid 30 dollars for 3 coffees and 2 teas!!!?!
You can’t walk out of a coffee shop with both kidneys anymore. Even the cheapest place now charge you so much that you can’t have dinner for a week.

This is of course an exaggeration.

But the prices are massively high and the reasons are as follows.

China.

Yes, China. That’s why you can’t have both coffee and dinner in the same day. Don’t even think about coffee and a cigarette. China, which is traditionally a tea drinking nation are drinking more and more coffee. This might because they want to be like us westerners… I always new the asians were intelligent.

So the 374746391747292746392 people in China are now drinking coffee, but no more coffee beans are being harvested. So supply and demand do not match which means extortion prices for us that have been drinking coffee for centuries. I really do hate dislike China.

It’s even gotten to the point where I go to maccas and ask for a large sausage McMuffin with a coffee and hash brown hold the food. And is still cheaper than going to a coffee shop. He coffee is shit, but what do you expect. It’s cheap, or at least cheaper than $85.50 per shot.

At least coffee at work is free. It’s good coffee too. I always know that the milk will be perfect, I don’t have to wait in line ad best of all, I’m actually getting paid to drink the coffee. Free coffee = win. I get to have dinner as well.

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Saying goodbye

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Even though this is goodbye for now… It’s not forever. Good luck Renee! Wish you well!

A Perfect Moment…

Have you ever had a perfect moment? Like one that you see in those ridiculous romcom movies? Have you ever heard the soundtrack to your life? You know, the music they would play if your life was a movie. Ok, well it totally happened to me TWICE this week. I know right… crazy.

The first time was last Monday night. A good friend of ours is moving Sydney to be with one-legged  beau. So her lease was up and she is now staying in our spare room until she leaves tomorrow morning. I was sitting here at this very computer and I had my earphones in listening to my Eric Saade (love him). I cant remember what I was doing…I want to say studying, but let’s be honest…I would be lying, and I looked over and they were both just laying on the couches chatting to each other and laughing and having a really good time. I think Daniel was on youtube, showing Renee some funny videos. It was the perfect moment. Seeing them both laugh and having fun, the music playing in my ears, the dim lighting coming from my very vintage lamps that I stole from work. It all came together to make that perfect moment. I couldn’t actually hear what they were saying, and I think I had this terrible goofy smile on my face. I probably looked like a retard.

The other was last night when we went out for a few drinks at The Breakwater at Hillary’s Boat Harbour. Now this place is very special to me as this is where Daniel and I had our illegal fake wedding reception. So where are sitting there with Renee and two other close friends and just chatting, sharing a bottle of wine, having some delicious spicy meat balls, laughing. And then I sat back (in a slightly drunken state) and was really happy again watching Daniel and Brent talk about something which was obviously really interesting, and Renee and Kyran were talking about shoes probably and there was music playing. and then I got really sad because I knew this would be the last time we would get to do this for a while. The 5 of us enjoying each others company while sharing memories and creating new ones. It sad because you think “Oh maybe we should have spent more time together”. We probably should have, but everyone is so busy in their own fucked up lives which makes these moments you do spend together so special.

It’s a shame that we don’t get to have any more of these special moments. But I guess if we did, they wouldn’t be as special. So even though Renee moves away tomorrow and begins her new life with her pastry chef, I will always remember those special perfect moments that we shared together, and I’ll look forward to sharing them one day again soon.

x Chadlington

(Current Mood: Thoughtful)