I have been fighting it. For 2 years now I have been fighting the urge. I hate conforming. This is the reason why I listen to music like Lady Gaga. I am an individual. Yet for some reason I have given up the fight, thrown in the towel. Im like Japan after they bombed the shit out of Pearl Harbour. I surrender myself to Twitter.
Last night I asked my best friend to show me how to use it. I’m not sure why. I know that it will take over my life and I will be sucked once again into the never ending pit of social awkwardness and despair that is ‘social’ networking. I use the term ‘social’ lightly. Like philly cheese. I am going to be one of those losers that is never off the freaking thing and will start tweeting things like
@twitterloser152568445 I’m finished #ijusttookashitandwanttotellthewholeworldbecauseimafreak
As if Facebook wasn’t bad enough. I was constantly on that. Before that it was MySpace and before that it was Hi5. The worst thing is that I’ll be coming in on the end of the trend. Next week there will be some other thing that is way cooler than twitter. Everyone will be doing it. It will probably have something to do with having sex virtually, where you can sit on the joystick while someone in the world tickles your clit while you tweet
‘I’m comingsjdkfhfjdshfjthurtyurghjdhfgjdsfdsfHKJFHSKFJDHJKHJKHJKHJHJHJ!!!!!!?!?!?!?!$%^%$%$^$ @pleasure_island #ijustlostmyvirginity’.
And I will fight the urge until I give up in about 2 years time, by which time no one will actually speak anymore and we will write in computer code where 1110010101111000101010001011101010 @10011010100101 #10111010111111100010101100010101111 roughly translates to Hello Chad and we will live out our lives like a silent movie and never leave our computers. This reminds me, I really want an iMac.
On a side note. I’m actually a little excited to start tweeting. I really want followers, just because I want people to like me and think that my life is interesting. But at the same time I’m really upset with myself for wanting to use it. So I have these conflicting issues inside my head and I feel that I need to tweet about them, but then I don’t because that means
i’m giving into temptation, which is bad because its a sign of the devil and I should go to hell, but then I think, “hey I have sex with
men man so I should be bad. I’m already going to hell.” Even though there is no hell because there is no such thing as God or baby Jesus.
You see I live in a world where it revolves around me, and my thoughts. Twitter may not be the best place for me. And I really like waiting until Mondays to find out what happens on American Idol. Maybe I should tweet about how I’m feeling.