Ramblings of an Idiosyncratic Homosexual

Posts tagged ‘21st century’

I’m addicted to Porn and Masturbate Constantly

Like any self respecting mobile phone owner, I’m addicted to my phone. I’m not sure if it has something to do with the signal of the phone that messes up the electrodes in my brain, causing a chemical dependency similar to the affects of nicotine, or if it is something else… Far more sinister.

You see it is not the phone that I’m addicted to. I dislike being on the phone for an extended period of time, and replying to a text is more often than not, at the bottom of my list of favourite things to do, and this is because majority of the time, the message interrupts my game. Yes gentle readers, I’m addicted to mobile gaming.

Currently I’m addicted to the game Draw Something and this is because of two leading factors.
1: People won’t leave me alone. I mostly blame Simon for this…
2: it was our niece Caitlyn that downloaded it at dinner because she was bored. I think I spent most of the time playing it because she was bored of it after five minutes.

And it doesn’t stop at draw something. I’ve been addicted to mobile gaming for as long as I can remember. I think everyone was addicted to snake at one point or another, back when Nokia was actually relevant. More recently it has been words with friends, angry birds, race penguin…oh my god race penguin. So good.

It’s an epidemic, I feel like I’m loosing what little brain cells I have left after all the drinking and smoking from the last 7 years. It’s a real problem. This is far worse than any famine in Africa, or financial crisis in the United Kingdom. I am talking about the fall of human emotion and communication all together, forget about global climate changes, no one will care when the tides rise to swallow the world because they will be too busy trying to play ‘quiz’ as a word in Words with Friends to notice. In millions of years when aliens come to earth they will search the now massive oceans and find billions of creepy skeletal humans, every one of them with an iPhone attached in hand. Occasionally you will have some stupid ape like creature with the Samsung Galaxy in hand, but they deserved to die, they were obviously to dumb to contribute to society in a positive way. And no one will be stupid enough to have a HTC, because the people that have them now, probably won’t make the same mistake twice.