Ramblings of an Idiosyncratic Homosexual

Posts tagged ‘engagement’

A Perfect Engagement

Attention Miramax!

The other day I witnessed the most grotesque display of human affection in the history of the universe. This stuff was so gooey it would have made Meg Ryan (queen of RomCom) hurl. I am talking about the perfect engagement.

It all started when this guy called the restaurant at work asking about private dining as he was thinking about proposing to his girlfriend. So being the brilliant customer service institution that we are we accommodated. He then told us that he would be dropping off the $25000 ring. Game changer. We knew that this kid (yes kid- 26. I checked) had money. And he wanted to spend it. We pulled out all stops. Red carpets and candles and champagne, the water fountain on the lake. It was totally spesh.

They arrived by helicopter just before two. My mate Blaire and I were lighting the candles in the room as they were supposed to arrive just after 2. Well I was lighting candles, Blaire was sipping coke watching me do all the work. So I was in charge of serving them for the day. I was aware that they were quite young but they were literally just kids. He was some kind of doctor and I have no idea what she was. And he was loaded. On top of that he was totally gorge. This guy was smoking hot. So although they were both young and filthy rich, they were really down to earth. I still think she knew what was going on. Helicopter, private candle lit lunch, exceptional service, she had to know.

After starters they went for a walk through the vines. Now the plan was that after main course they were going to take a walk up the stairs to the balcony that looks over the lawns and vines and the lake. The view is sensational. This is where he was going to pop the question. Vomit. So I got a little confused for a second but then got it after he mentioned the walk after mains.

So after they got back, they ordered mains and I topped up their French champagne. While eating, I was watching them through a tiny peep hole in the blacked out window in the door that leads from the kitchen into their private room. I know right. I was a total peeping Tom.

After main course, I went in to take their dessert orders and he gave the the nod. I had to haul ass up the stairs to the safe where I had the rock. All 25000 dollars worth. Then I had to run up more stairs and get it to the table where he had a photo of the two of them and a passage from Corinthians. Again. Vomit.

Kyran, Johnny and I hid in the board room upstairs where there was a great view. We could see the clarity of the diamond from there. Next thing we knew there were tears and kissing and it was so obvious she had said yes. We dashed out with champagne for congrats.

I will upload some photos so everyone can see how horribly romantic it was. Just get a bucket ready for imminent vomit.

Oh and I am redoing the wedding and starting with the engagement. Daniel take notes..

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