Big Brother Australia comes back to us this year. I’m not sure if I’m excited or terrified. The truth is I loved this show when it was on tv. I’m bit sure what it was. The people weren’t that interesting, quite the opposite really. Really intolerable. Especially that Sarah one. Oh how I would love to staple something to her forehead. Right in the middle. Something along the lines of kick me here or glass me. The concept of big brother gave new meaning to the term 15 seconds of fame. For a short period of time the whole nation watched these housemates, and they were famous. Only to be replaced by the next group of wannabe stars that don’t really amount to anything. I think the fascination that we have with shows like this is the sick pleasure we get when someone is evicted or hated ad the fights and love triangles that for some reason seem more interesting on tv. It’s the same with shows like Idol. Everyone loves seeing a dream crushed. I know I really enjoyed seeing Elise Testone get voted off. She was crap. She was so upset poor thing. It was hilarious.
But I think the worst shows on television are the real housewives. I don’t think I have ever watched anything so brainless that those shows. I actually feel slightly more retarded than I was when the show started, and for those of you that know me, this is not a good thing.
These shows have no point. I don’t k ow why anyone would want to watch them. It’s not entertaining. Unless you think that watching extremely wealthy woman do nothing with their days and try to make something entertaining by acting like poodles and prance around spending hard earned money on things that they already have, all whole trying to tell the other show dogs that they are better then them. That their plastic surgery mistakes are not as bad as the others and that they deserve the blue ribbon for “best dog in show”.
Other shows like Jersey Shore were only slightly more interesting because at least you can laugh at how typically wog they are. And how hawt they think they are. Guess what snooki, I think your kinda fat. And who uses kitty litter as an exfoliate. Spend the cash sweety. And lose the tack.
So I don’t think it’s a big secret that I like to sing. And I’m going to put it out there… I think I’m pretty damn good. Apart from my darling husband (wanker) and an unintelligent, fat, mean dish pig, I think others generally think I’m pretty good too.
I know thousands and thousands of people dream of being famous, getting rich, and seeing their names in lights. Just look at how many people try out for all the reality tv shows like idol and x-factor. Most of them can’t actually sing, which makes good television, but others are really good.
The top 4 reasons why people want to sing for a living is because they want to be:
4) even more famous
I know there are some disadvantages of being famous, like the paparazzi and their obsession with invading your personal space. And body guards. I’m pretty sure Britney can’t take a dump without her 8 body guards in the room with her. And your kids get royally fucked up too, and that normally because famous people tend to give them fucked up names like blue ivy and apple, or blanket. What’s wrong with the name John, or Harry or Sally?
But I think being famous would be totally worth it. Now I’m not interested in being rich, I couldn’t care less. But I have this thing that is apparently a bad thing. I have a need to please people. I’m a people pleaser. It pleases me to make other people happy. So I think that I want to be famous because I want to make music that makes other people happy. I want to be inspiration for some gay kid like Britney is for me. Or Beyonce is for millions and millions of people. I wanna see my name in lights. I wanna sell out fucking Madison Square Gardens.
I think it’s all about believe in yourself. I think you need to have the conviction in your head that you fucking amazing and you will be. You see it all the time. Some chick on idol who is really shy and not confident gets sent home because her voice is nice, but she’s boring. Then some rocker guy who can’t sing comes out and blows everyone away with his confidence and stage presence.
So I’m going to be a singer. I’m going to try really hard at least. I mean why not. If somebody enjoys something then I would like to think that I would encourage them to do it. What’s stoping you?!
And I promise not to call my kid milk carton or anything stupid like that…