I have a rather strange fear. For some reason, I’m not sure why, but I suffer from Mottephobia- a fear of moths.
Trust me I know how stupid this sounds. I know they are harmless, and don’t bite, or have claws or anything like that. But for some reason they creep me the fuck out. I’m not sure they can’t bite you because they eat clothes, what’s to stop them from using their jaws of death to rip shreds of flesh from my body. Nothing I tell you. Nothing. And then you have the ones that are the size of small houses. With big fuck of wings. Just imagine how big those fangs must be.
Of course everyone at work thinks its so funny. Apparently placing giant man eating spawn of Satan on Chad is a an excellent form of team building. That’s right don’t come to my work. The service is horrible unless you into having your face ripped off. And unless you know someone that works there, your paying an average of $38 for a main portion of Chad fillet, or Chad thigh (now that’s some good thigh).
It’s not just limited to Moths. Any insect really. Crickets with their stolid jumping and surprises you and always causes you to scream unexpectedly in a crowd of people. I’m sure they do it just for fun. Evil bastards. Preying Mantis with their blades of death and destruction attached to their arms, able to shred strips of skin and then slowing devour unsuspecting human prey. And of course cockroaches that are just plain disgusting. I always picture then like Hannibal Lector.
Don’t stand to close to glass chad (insert horrendous slurping noise)
I know it’s weird and unsubstantiated, and I’m sure everyone’s like “oh Chad you big pile of sticks”.
I hate being alone…